dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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