The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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