he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
