It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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