Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
