I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize