I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
this will be a night to untag.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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