I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize