walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
