I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
