She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
