the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
