so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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