I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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