tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
