You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
