I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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