my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
