I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
