I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
