i need an iv and a liver transplant
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
