i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I would ride that face into the sunset
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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