my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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