If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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