i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm always down for nudity.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
