Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
