that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
