tell your sister to shave her snatch
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
