I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
