You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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