we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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