if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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