Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
