i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
