Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
