i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
