Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
