You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
