Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
