I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
