Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
