He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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