Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
