ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
