I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
