dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
