The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
