she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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