OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
