escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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