He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Someone came in the potted fern
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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