Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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