i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
bring money and cleavage
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
