i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
