At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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