these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
