I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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