Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
