I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
