New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
