I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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