You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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