I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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