oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
