Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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