If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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