I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
