We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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