My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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