i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
