Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
