I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
